I know I’m just nitpicking, but I really need some glasses. The black frames you see are really just a pair of reading glasses I use to take pictures, but I can’t really see out of them. The other pair, my real pair, I use while in boy mode. I can see out of them, but they don’t do anything for me when I’m Stefani. They are not fashionable at all. Take a look.
Which is funny for me to say. I’ve never cared about fashion. I – in boy mode – have always chosen functionality over style. I care more about price than how something looks. While I don’t want look out-of-date, I’d rather be comfortable than to look a certain way. Simplicity is my motto.
As Stefani, I’m someone else altogether. I want to look a certain way. I want to be fashionable in style, in season. Everything needs to match, to fit correctly. I want to be beautiful, I want to be hot, I want to be desired. It makes me uncomfortable to have men making sexually suggestive comment, but a part of me craves it. Within reason, of course.
I haven’t started accessorizing yet. That’s my next step. I need to start buying jewelry. Most of what I buy will be simple, as I really don’t like to be flashy, but I still want a little bling to my outfits pop. Going along with that, I need to buy myself a pair of glasses, or two, and some sunglasses while I’m at it. I know I’ll need some at some point. Out of everything, that’s going to be the biggest investment in money I’ll have to make. It’s also a little concerning because I’ll have to go to the store to buy them. I can’t simply use the excuse that they are for my friend. Eek!
But I’ll get it done, I”m sure of it. This transformation has become more about the journey than the destination. It’s an ongoing process, one I’ve come to love, wherein I leave the mundane behind and for a few precious moments, I can be me. I think that’s a wonderful thing. I just wish it wasn’t so fucking expensive.