Life

Time

Time has a funny way of slipping away from us. Days turn into weeks, then into months, and then you look back, surprised that so much time has elapsed. Time can seem to drag on, a slow, relentless march into the future, but somehow swift as the rapids threatening to drown us if we don’t take care.

Time. I haven’t spent much time writing as I used to. I haven’t spent much time as Stefani either. Life has gotten far too hectic lately, and I’ve lost touch with a part of myself. Not that it’s inherently bad, but I’ve had very little time for myself, to exist in my space as I am.

Back at the end of March, I was on Facebook and one of my friends, a guy from my hometown had posted a picture of his drumset and captioned it something to the effect that it was practice time. I thought nothing of it as I liked the post and continued scrolling. Moments later, he messaged me to ask if I still played the guitar, which I replied that I did. He asked if I played an electric, which I do. He then invited me to join him and some of his friends to jam.

A little about that. I started playing back when I got my first guitar for Christmas back in 1985. Or maybe it was 84. I can’t remember, but it was over thirty years ago. Excepting the few times I played with my father at church, and the couple of years I played at the Catholic Student Center in college, I’ve never played with anyone. I’d never been in a band. I didn’t know how to jam.

So, I was tempted to say no, however I couldn’t pass up the chance. Like many kids, I too dreamt of being a rock star, except in my case I wanted to play Tejano music. Still, I was intrigued with the prospect of being in a rock band. The band in question played mostly 80’s rock covers. I decided to say yes, even though I feared I would end up making a fool of myself.

For the past several months, I’ve been meeting with the band, learning how to play new songs in their entirety. I’m learning songs by Dio, Cinderella, AC/DC, and Joan Jett, among others. I’ve slowly been improving since I first got the song list, sitting in front of my amp, guitar in hand, and the tabs for the song open on my phone. Everyday after work I come home and practice. Every other week we’ve been meeting to practice, each time feeling a little more confident in my ability to play a genre of music I had never tried playing.

I’ve been having a blast.

In addition to this, I’ve also been spending a lot of my days off at my parent’s house, helping them work on their house. They are having flooring installed and I’ve been there, ripping out the old floor, doing whatever prep work needed to be done. I’ve been spending all of my free time engaged with other activities, rarely having any time to myself. I’m exhausted.

So far this weekend I helped to pick up three pallets of vinyl plank flooring and moving the cases into the house. That was my Saturday. 75 cases of flooring had to be taken into the house. Fortunately me and my brother had help from our other brother and his two teenage sons. Along with my father, we made quick work of it, but picking it up and moving everything took the better part of the day. I only got home after 9 p.m.

Sunday will be my first day off in months. All the prep work is done and the band won’t be meeting. One member is moving and needs a few weeks to settle in and another had knee surgery and will be out of commission while his knee heals. I finally get some time for me.

I’m excited. I have a day all to myself and I plan on making to most of it. I may not even leave my apartment, and if I do, it’ll be to do things that I want to do. I have an apartment to clean, laundry to wash and put away, and time to spend idling away in front of the television.

I’ll probably spend some time practicing my guitar as well, but other than that, it’s a free day. I’ll likely get bored rather quickly, and that’s okay. At the moment, boredom is a luxury that I haven’t gotten to enjoy in quite some time. I plan to make the most of it.

Coming up, I have several concerts lined up, which means I will have some road trips to take. I’ll continue going to band practice once we’re able to meet again, and I have a friend coming up in a few weeks to spend a week with me.

More pressing for me are the rumors of changes that are imminent at work, rumors that I believe are credible. I don’t know what it will mean for me, but that stress has also been weighing on me. It’s likely that I may decide that my time with the company has run its course and that I may need to start job hunting. I’ll know for sure on Monday.

Until then, I’ll enjoy my one day for myself, taking time to rest and relax after spending so much time on the go. As an introvert, I guard my private time jealously. It’s my time to recuperate and build up my energy so I can function in a social setting.

I guess that’s really the crux of my issue with time. I’ve had no time to recuperate. I’ve spent all my time either at work or engaged with other people. I sometimes wish I was more of an extravert, that I had to social energy to be okay with constantly being around others. The truth is that I’m not, and that I’m completely drained all the time as a result.

But Sunday will be me time, a full Stefani day. I’m excited for it and hope that I won’t have to wait so long to have another me day. My time is precious to me and I’ll enjoy every boring minute of it.

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