I’m sitting at my friend’s apartment, dressed comfortably in a pair of jeans and a long-sleeve thermal t-shirt. At the moment, the temperature is reading 5° F ( -15° C), and I thought it prudent to stay in town rather than make the hour-long trek home, especially since I have to work early in the morning. The roads are a bit slick. Better safe than sorry.

This also gives me the opportunity to let myself out for a night. It’s not a normal feeling, though it’s one that I long for when I’m in “Steve”mode. I feel uncomfortable, and slightly ridiculous. I don’t know why that should be, except that I have repressed myself for so long that I’m having trouble coming to terms with myself. I’m still trying to find some my equilibrium.

In the meantime, I’m getting myself shaved, which is a right pain. The older I get, the more hair I have growing. I’m disgusting! Every time I shave, I find weird patches I missed the previous time. It’s going to take forever to get properly shorn. At least my face has been shaved. Too bad it mean I can see all my flaws. Beards are a perfect way to hide them. I can’t believe I’m really that…er…fluffy.

But it’s not too bad. I’m going to sit around a little more, just chilling and watching movies on NetFlix. I wish I had some wine. That’s a perfectly womenesque thing to do. I wish I had a Dr Pepper. I’m giving up sodas come the New Year, all part of my goal to lose weight. I hope to lose twenty to thirty pounds. Soda’s are my biggest source of empty calories. I lost ten pounds without trying a few years ago when I gave them up for Lent. Let’s see where it takes me.

So, I’m going to bundle up on the couch and find something else to watch. Next time I hope to have a chance to try on some make-up. For now, good night and stay warm.