Things are looking up – or at least I am! Stefani Lara 2015

What a day! I went to work as scheduled, but I didn’t remain long. As I was about the step out of my car, I got a dizzy spell. It sucked! I don’t like missing work, so I decided to soldier on, like a good little employee, hoping the spell would pass. It didn’t While at the morning meeting, while our manger stood there leading our stretches, I mentioned the fact that I was dizzy to a co-worker who turned around and told our manager as soon as the meeting was over. I stood there, holding on the counter behind me, trying to maintain my balance. He sent me home.

I called a friend, feeling that I wouldn’t make it all the way home, and she let me crash at her place. I slept for several hours, confirming in my mind that I was most likely suffering from exhaustion. It happens from time to time, but thankfully not that often. When I finally got out of bed, she asked if I was hungry, which I wasn’t really, but I knew that I needed to eat to get my strength back up. Of course, I paid.

Afterwards, we went shopping. We hit a few stores, but money is a little tight, so all I bought was a blouse and a camisole. We went back to her place, and after deliberating whether or not to dress up, I did. Once again, she did my make-up, explaining all the steps she was taking to put me together, all the while discussing the different brands of make-up I should try, reserving what she uses herself until I gain some proficiency putting it onto myself.

I stayed dressed for all afternoon until I decided to come home. The more I dress up, the more comfortable I become with myself. It’s a wonderful sensation to lounge around as the woman I wish I were. I stepped out a bit into the hall way of her apartment, wishing I had the courage to walk out and into the light of the world, but I’m not ready yet. It’s scary, don’t you know, and I don’t want to rush my journey. I’m only now discovering who I am, and why share it prematurely?