It’s a pleasant February afternoon where I live. The sun is out, and it’s a moderate 56º F. Not bad for a Saturday afternoon. I was supposed to go to work this morning, but when I woke up, I wasn’t really feeling it. I called in, which I really hate doing, but I thought better call in and get well instead of forcing myself in and getting worse. Rest really does the body and soul some good.

Earlier in the week, I went to a friend’s place for dinner. She, like me, is a crossdresser, and it was the first time Stefani met with another girl. It was a weird experience, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought. It wasn’t at all awkward, but rather itt felt natural to me, just two girl friends chatting it up over some wine and good food.

It’s kind of strange that in all my years dressing up, both back in college and now, that I never met with another crossdresser. Not once. I live most of my en femme life online, either on my blog, on Crossdressers.com, or on my Flickr. She, on the other hand, stays off social media but goes and meet with other girls. I’m a little bit jealous!

But we’re different people. I’m a natural introvert and I prefer my own company. She prefers the company of others. There’s nothing wrong with either of us, we’re just being true to ourselves, but I have to say that I would like to go out in public at some point. I believe it would be a fascinating experience, one that I’m missing out on.

Back when I first got serious into crossdressing, back with my first girlfriend, I was brave enough to go out in public. Of course, I was a lot younger then, thinner, and I hadn’t filled out yet. I could pass back then, or at least I think I could.

There’s no point dwelling on what I used to be. I’m in the now, as if I had a choice, right? I’m entering middle age, and I’m just now accepting this part of me as essential to my own happiness and well-being. Incumbent in that is a need to make friends with other people, especially girls like me, girls who understand and accept me for who I am, because they are like me.

I had a great night at my new friend’s place. It was an amazing night, with plenty of wine and open conversation. I hope we can do it again, but I also know that I need to find other girls to hang out with. I want to see the world with Stefani’s eyes. I want to make up for the years I lost trying to live a life that has never been mine.