Being Transgender / Uncategorized

Almost nightmare

20160918_1610191I accidentally sent all my pictures to everyone in my contact list. I was a virus I downloaded, I suppose, something that outed me to everyone I knew. It was a horrifying moment in my life, which thankfully, was nothing more than a bad dream. I very, very bad dream. Can you imagine? All my secrets, out for the world to see? Well, I suppose they are out here on this blog, and on my Flickr, Twitter, and Facebook, but who’s watching, right?

A lot of people, apparently, not that I’m all too concerned with it. I’m moving slowly towards full disclosure, but not quite yet. I’m not ready to let those I care about know about it, and while I care about most of my coworkers, ultimately they aren’t who I’m worried about, at least as far as Stefani is concerned. It’s my family whom I’m referring about.

I told my HR director about the dream, and she said it was probably telling me that it was time to tell my family. I looked at her, and with all due respect, I said, “Uh, no!” Very profound of me, I know, but really? My family?

I know, however, that she’s right. Don’t tell her I said that. It’s been growing on my mind lately, that soon I’ll have to fess up, tell them about Stefani. I may not introduce them to her for some time, if ever, but with the secret out, maybe I can find a little more peace in my soul. The duality of my existence is sometimes too much to bear.


5 thoughts on “Almost nightmare

  1. I’ll tell ya, family was the hardest part of coming out. Some will accept some will tolerate it. Others will say nope sorry don’t come around. That’s the reality family and people in general. However, telling them will the weight of hiding off your shoulders and the rest of the world will be a cake walk. I did tell my folks, the same day my siblings. The weight was gone. Expected the worst hoped for the best, got something in the middle. So i wasn’t heart broken.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Love, you and you alone will know when you are ready to reveal to your family. There may never be a “right” time, but there will be a time when you are sure it is RIGHT for you! Gorgeous as ever!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Although there is a huge gap between having an idea and having that idea confirmed, nonetheless are you sure your family doesn’t have a clue about Stefani? Is it possible that they may know more about you than you realize and that the big reveal won’t be such a big revelation after all?


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