I wish I had money. I’m not talking about a couple of hundred or even a couple of thousand dollars. No. I’m talking about the obscene amount of wealth that makes us lowly commoners sick with envy. I want so much money that every one of my desires could easily be bought, my dreams realized with a swipe of a card. I want to be rich.

Okay, so I’d settle for a couple of hundred dollars. I’d settle for a nice pair of boots…, or two. A girl can’t have too many! I am a Texan, so I’ll need some cowboy boots, and maybe a Stetson as well. I need thigh-high boots, high-heel boots, I need heels, pumps, sneakers, sandals. I need purses and bags, and belt. Damn do I need belts. And jackets. Winter is coming up, don’t you know? I need more than my job earns me. I need more!

So maybe I’m being slightly dramatic, just for effect. For the most part, I’m happy with what I have. For someone who virtually lost everything, wife, car, home, and job, I’m thankful for the little I do have. I’m grateful for the opportunity to be Stefani, I give thanks to have a few stolen moments wherein I can simply exist as me, as the woman I am.

But there is a bit of a materialistic desire in me, one that I have to sate a little bit at a time. Lately, I’ve been giving in to my wants more than I should. I’ve spent way too much on Stefani in the past couple of months, especially this week. For a guy that hasn’t bought a single stitch of women’s clothing in over a decade, I’ve spent too much on Stefani, but let’s call it making up for lost time.

I don’t know how many outfits I have, but I do know I have three pairs of jeans, a two pairs of shorts, a skirt, two dresses, and way too many blouses. Sadly, I only have two pairs of heels. I need to rectify that. I went to Payless Shoes, hoping to find an affordable pair of boots, but they were to pricey for me, having spent way too much on several blouses last Friday. That’s okay. We left, and my friend needed to make a copy of her key, so off to Wal-Mart we went. I spent too much on a couple of blouses and a camisole. I need help. Or a sugar daddy.

Maybe not. I’m sure once I build up my wardrobe, I’ll slow down a bit. Contrary to how I’m portraying myself on here, I’m not really all that materialistic. Want proof? I bought a couple of blouses from Wal-Mart. Not exactly a bastion of fashion now, is it? It’s affordable, comfortable, and accessible for the common working folk, like me.

Sure, I may go to department stores a buy myself a little something, but it’s not all that often. All I want is to have something to wear for every occasion. It sounds shallow, but I don’t think it is. This is simply the excitement of the girl coming out of me for the first time in ages. True, I never had this many clothes, but that was due to the constant purging. I’ll never purge again. This is me, and I’m getting used to it.

I just wish it wasn’t so gosh-darned expensive!