Being Transgender

New Year, Same Stef?

I know it’s a bit belated, but Happy New Year! It’s finally 2020 and all I can say is where the hell did all the time go? Didn’t Y2K just happen? When did I get this old? Why is my eyesight turning to shit? Why am I always tired?

Okay, I may be playing up being old a bit, but it’s amazing how quickly life seems to pass by. Twenty years ago I was living in Canyon, just having dropped out of college and living with my best friend. By the end of the year, I had moved to Dallas, then Wolfe City, something that I never thought I could do.

In the span of twenty years, I got married and divorced. I worked at several different places, and been unemployed for a year. I went back to college and earned my Bachelor’s. I started working at Home Depot temporarily, though I’m still here almost seven years later. I’ve met a lot of people, and I’ve forgotten several. That’s how life goes.

Through it all, I’m not the same person I was twenty years ago. If you would have told me twenty years ago that I would be out as a person, I would have thought you mad. If you would have told me that I would live my life free, I wouldn’t have believed you. I always thought Stefani would forever be locked in a closet.

But I’m not.

Where I’m at now is comfortably secure. I recently bought a brand new bedroom suite, something I’ve wanted for a long time. I’ve only ever had hand-me-downs before, so this is huge! I started looking into the possibility of buying a house. I want my own place, not an apartment, an actual house to become my home.

The house hunting has been put on hold temporarily due to work. I don’t know if there’s the possibility of being promoted in the near future, but I think my manager wants me to be ready to promote within a year, and with the possibility exists that I might have to move to move up. So the timing on finding a house isn’t right.

And that’s okay. It’ll give me a chance to pay my furniture off. Maybe I’ll buy a new washer and dryer next year. I have some concerts I plan to go to this year, and maybe a trip to Nashville in October. We’ll see. I mean, last October I went to Florida for the first time, visiting Disney and Universal Studios, and even Cape Canaveral.

It took me reaching my forties to become comfortable enough with myself to start stretching myself, to allow myself to explore the world, to let myself consider even looking into buying a house. I’m living life, traveling, and enjoying my time on this tiny, blue, spinning orb.

I don’t know what 2020 and beyond has in store for me, but I’m excited to see what’s coming. So the question is, am I the same Stef I once was? Absolutely not! We’re all given the chance to learn and to grow as the years go on. I have chosen to grow with the years and not to simply see the years pass me by.

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