I know I’m just nitpicking, but I really need some glasses. The black frames you see are really just a pair of reading glasses I use to take pictures, but I can’t really see out of them. The other pair, my real pair, I use while in boy mode. I can see out of them, but they don’t do anything for me when I’m Stefani. They are not fashionable at all. Take a look.
Which is funny for me to say. I’ve never cared about fashion. I – in boy mode – have always chosen functionality over style. I care more about price than how something looks. While I don’t want look out-of-date, I’d rather be comfortable than to look a certain way. Simplicity is my motto.
As Stefani, I’m someone else altogether. I want to look a certain way. I want to be fashionable in style, in season. Everything needs to match, to fit correctly. I want to be beautiful, I want to be hot, I want to be desired. It makes me uncomfortable to have men making sexually suggestive comment, but a part of me craves it. Within reason, of course.
I haven’t started accessorizing yet. That’s my next step. I need to start buying jewelry. Most of what I buy will be simple, as I really don’t like to be flashy, but I still want a little bling to my outfits pop. Going along with that, I need to buy myself a pair of glasses, or two, and some sunglasses while I’m at it. I know I’ll need some at some point. Out of everything, that’s going to be the biggest investment in money I’ll have to make. It’s also a little concerning because I’ll have to go to the store to buy them. I can’t simply use the excuse that they are for my friend. Eek!
But I’ll get it done, I”m sure of it. This transformation has become more about the journey than the destination. It’s an ongoing process, one I’ve come to love, wherein I leave the mundane behind and for a few precious moments, I can be me. I think that’s a wonderful thing. I just wish it wasn’t so fucking expensive.
Stefani Within 
Will you go as far as to get ears pierced maybe
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I’ve back and forth on that. I want them, but that’s a commitment I’m not ready to make.
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I know what you mean about fashion, although I’m even more extreme in my disregard for appearance. In male mode, when I’m not at work, I will throw on the first things that come to hand, usually in nondescript black, blue or grey, however faded or threadbare, as long as it’s comfortable.
Susie’s clothes, in sharp contrast, have become in recent years far smarter and colorful (she has more, and nicer, suits than I do). I’ve wondered if this reluctance, almost aversion, to spending money on my male self is a form of self-punishment, as if I don’t deserve it.
The black frame glasses really suit you. And men do make passes at girls with glasses.They’ve become sexy. (Glasses, not men…oh, you know what I mean.)
I had to get new glasses for work recently. I haven’t yet plucked up the courage to take my prescription back and ask for another pair in women’s frames. I wish now I had done it at the time. (Now you know the reason for that slightly unfocused scared rabbit stare in my profile pic.)
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You are probably right about your everyday glasses, but at the same time they don’t scream “guy in a dress” either. To my eye they appear gender-neutral. They may not contribute to the effect you desire to make, but at least they have the value of actually making it possible for you to see. In my opinion, that isn’t a bad trade-off.
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Yeah, but since I wear them in everyday life, they link me to my male identity. I really do want something a little more feminine. Gender-neutral isn’t quite what I’m after.
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Have you considered purchasing a pair of glasses online at sites like Zenni Optical, etc.? If you know the details of your vision prescription you could likely find what you are looking for discretely and at a relatively inexpensive price. I’m not in a position to comment on the quality, but it might be an avenue to consider. Just a thought.
All the best, Kati
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I’ve considered it, but I don’t know how that works. I’ll research it and maybe that’ll be the avenue I take. 🙂
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